Got a call from these effing asshats this very afternoon as a matter of fact!
The script the bee-yatch read aloud in the pre-recorded message went (I have transcribed it as faithfully as humanly possible) as follows:
"Are you still havng debt troubles? Collection agencies calling? Making payments that get you nowhere? Finally, theres a brand new consumer protection programme which guarantees a three month break from paying
your ceditors and can provide you with an interest free repayment plan that you can afford. No more borrowing! No need for bankrpputcy! And no more stress! For a free consultation call now, at 647 477 8358. Make the call.
You'll be glad you did!"
That by the way is an Ontario, Canada exchange, mostly for cellular phone service and/or the Mississauga area (next door to Toronto) if I am not mistaken.
Well anyway, since you can't exactly reach out and physically bee-yatch-slap the bee-yatch in the message, here is my alternative suggestion which I hope you will enjoy:
Call them back! Call them at the number they invite you to use, as listed above (647-477-8358) BUT BUT BUT ---> be sure to hit *67 first to block your number from being identifiable to them!!!
When/if anyone actually answers, simply barrel forward, relentlessly but clearly, just like their recording, using the same cheerful, confident (and confidential) tone! Remember not to speak quickly. Works best if you draw it out! Inform them of the following GREAT new service:
"Are you still having troubles making telemarketing successful for your business? Potential customers not responding as positively you thought they would? Getting blowback from harassed consumers who refuse to become customers because you've been trying to contact them within their own home?... their only refuge from constant commercial incursions? Finally, there's a brand new sales protection programme which guarantees you won't lose potential customers by making cold calls to them that they don't want to receive in the first place, and can provide you with a way to be able to look yourself in the mirror and sleep at night. No more slimy autodialing! No more sleazy telemarketing! No more trying to tiptoe around privacy and telecommunications laws that are only going to become more strict as consumers increasingly resist telemarketers more forcefully and in ever greater numbers. For a free consultation, call 1-800-382-5633, that's 1-800-F___-Off. We'll be glad you did! And by the way, the programme itself is called STOP YOUR EFFING TELEMARKETING!"