Fun with Telemarketers

Just as effective - when you answer a call from a telemarketer - proceed to berate them about being late with their body bag shipment.

I love that idea with the boat horn, it's too bad these idiots who call won't listen to reason, so fed up people like us don't have to resort to something like a boat horn....but hey I've tried reasoning with them, I've tried being patient, I've tried ignoring their calls and not answering, but I'm tired of not being able to enjoy my phone calls without them beeping in constantly....I'm gonna use your idea...thanks..:-)

Yeah, just don't keep the phone to your own ear while you do it!

Letting your dog bark at the phone is also a good tactic...

Keeping a boat horn by the phone to use on telemarketers is not a good idea. The call center has your phone number and address. If you use such a device on a telemarketer and that telemarketer can show/prove that the use of that device you used on that telemarketer caused him injury/loss to their hearing; you can be held liable and may even be subject to assault charges and also sued by the person you caused harm to.  Whether you agree about this or not, is it worth taking a chance and being tied up in litagation. Each call that goes out of a call center has a unique code to each call that can identify the person that was called.

Hey, boat-horn-lovers, listen up - I'm about to drop some knowledge:

I recently graduated from college and, so far, haven't had much luck pursuing a professional job. I'm going to grad school next fall, but in the meantime I'm working at a call center, calling people about services they may have requested information on, but usually they have no idea why I'm calling.

Many times people got signed up to hear about these services by filling out an online survey, going to a site looking for a job, or trying to win a free laptop or something equally asinine. I don't like the fact that we get people's information in these ways, but we do. So here are a few tips for the wise:

1) Be CAREFUL when you're filling out information online. READ the small print. READ the boxes that are checked underneath what you're filling out - you never know if a check in a box is going to earn you (and me) a lot of aggravation when you get calls you thought you never asked for (but technically did). I know it's hard work, but try to read what you're signing up for on the internet.

2) TALK to telemarketers. The very best way to get us to stop calling is to tell us in a courteous and rational way that you are not interested at all in what we are offering. If the caller is obnoxiously persistent, LIE and tell them they must have the wrong number, and no one by that name lives there. We won't waste our time calling the wrong person. Problem solved.

And finally, 3) It's not wise to piss off telemarketers too much. We've got saintly patience when it comes to silly pranks and even being cursed out (to a degree). But if you're going to pull some crap like an air horn or - my personal favorite - screaming at the top of your lungs, we're going to have problems. In many cases, telemarketers have A LOT of your information: your phone number (obviously), email address, street address, sometimes even birth date. We aren't paid enough to be responsible with this information, so if you damage my hearing or offend me to an outrageous degree some other way, I WILL NOT hesitate to sign you up for all the spam and phone calls in the world. It's going to happen, and it's fun for me.

In summation, remember, telemarketers are people too, just like you. We have friends, loved ones and feelings - oh, and a lot of your contact information. So play nice.

I think a phone answering machine would be good with the proper message on it...Start with "Hello" to trip the machine, and tell them to call you on your other number. Make the number a state or federal legislator's office or better yet, any official who can cause them a problem, like police, FBI, etc. Anybody that knows you will not call you on that number, and simply leave a message. This should spread the joy around and maybe annoy some powerful people who can put a stop to these calls.

And what happens if the telemarketing company turns around and files a harassment lawsuit against YOU?

Go to http://www.kassistechnologies.com/software.html and download Repeat Dialer.  All my fax spammers get 2 hours of repeat calling.  It's the only way to get immediate satisfaction.

great idea... most telemarketers get paid the big bucks to sit there at a computer and try their hardest to make a sell.  In fact, most are instructed to stay on the line no matter how long until the person at the other end hangs up.

Whoa, you put some stranger on the phone with your little daughter and just leave it unattended?! That's weird! What if she gives someone personal info, "Look mister, I know my address, my first and middle name, and my ABC's!" What if he's some predator or something?

I always enjoyed when a telemarketer would get ahold of my 97 yr old mother in law...they could be on there for forever!! They would hear about Aunt Pearls hysterectomy, Uncle Bobs colonoscoopy, Cousin Donna's affair with the weird guy with the hair everywhere, and all the details of her 14 major bone breaks(complete with what she was doing right before each and every bone break, what the doctors said, what she did to recover...on & on  & on..until I'm sure that poor telemarket would be ready to hold a gun, first to the telephone, and then to his own hed...We would sit at the table and eat an entire meal and giggle the entire time before we would make Mom hang up the phone..great entertainment.

I love the idea of putting your kid on the phone.  My husband once had our 8-year-old son answer the door during dinner time, and told him to tell the salesperson all about his video games.  Worked like a charm! Now we will have to use that tactic for the telemarketers.

That one about putting your kid on the phone is a good one, but just make sure your kid won't get a really abusive caller.

The problem with putting a child on the phone is that telemarketers are often required to hang up when a child answers and code the call a "call back".  So, at that point, you will be called back.  The best thing you could do is tell the telemarketer yourself that you are not interested in the call and to add you to that call centers DNC list. Go one step further as some call centers have a Master DNC list which would add your name to ALL clients that that call centers call on behalf of. Ask to be placed on that call centers "Master Do Not Call List". Also, let the telemarketer verify your phone number before hanging up as the phone number on the file the telemarketer is using may be different than the phone number the call centers auto dialer called.  Especially true if you have changed your phone number recently.  One last thing, to have your number put on a DNC list, it must be asked by the person that the telemarketer is calling, their spouse, or, a caregiver.  Some call centers will not honor the request to be put on a DNC if you answer the phone and yell, "put me on your DNC list" and then hang up.  The call centers reasoning is that they don't know who is making the request or, that the person doing the requesting even knows who is calling them. This is changing though.

i always let my 6-yr-old answer the home phone! she gives everyone the third degree.  friends & family love it - telemarketers, not so much.

My favorite thing to do is to speak in a foreign language to them.  It doesn't matter whether you actually KNOW a foreign language, just say something like "omelets du fromage?" as though it is a question you are asking them.  Whatever they answer, just repeat your fake foreign question.  It stops them in their tracks.  One girl stopped, and I could hear her asking the others what to do.  Then she hung up.  LOL!

This may work for awhile as long as the call center knows that they reached the person they were calling.  As an example: the call center calls Joe Jones. The tm verifies that he is talking to Joe Jones.  You go into your routine.  The call will be coded a "no". The problem is, afte so much time has lapsed you will probably be called back.  

Here's the real problem. Instead of everyone trying to come up with some clever routine to screw around with, learn about the laws and rules that call centers operate by.  There are rules and laws that will greatly reduce, if not completly eliminate, the number of calls you receive by call centers.

Call centers offer a legitimate use believe it or not.  When you call that ad you just seen on tv to order State Quarters or, that music cd collection, or, that book from that tv evangelist or, that neat new tool for your workshop; you are most likely calling a telemarketer that just called and asked you for a donation to some charity.

Telemarketers are instructed to get out of a call if it is going "nowhere."  All that will happen in this type of call is it will be coded a "no."  Do you know what that means? It mean the call center will not call you for awhile but they will call again sometime in the future.  You should understand one thing. In the telemarketing business, this is no game. The University of Akron had a large addition added to its campus just to teach about telelmarketing. The addition was paid for by the owner of Infocision.

One call that I made, the person I was talking to was telling me everything that I was doing. When he mentioned that now I was going to "such and such" backcard (I can't remember which one it was) I asked him at tha point if he worked as a telelmarkter before.  He said, "no, I use to teach it in college."

Peoples reactions are gauged to see how they react to certain stimulus. We are all studied. Profiles and target audiences are studied. telemarketing is a science. The people who own telelmarketing co.'s aren't stupid.  They are very rich people!