Phone scams and elderly parents

Hi, I have been using this service for a few months and very grateful for the information and time everyone invests into this resource. Having said that, I was wondering if I could pick the brains of the community on the subject of phone scams and our elderly parents.

My mom is 80+ and living by herself, and I never thought about checking her phone and bank statements for her until I became a victim of a phone scam myself. I checked her statements and, lo and behold, found unauthorized charges on her phone bill.

She also tells me she has been getting calls from charities but yet has to give them her checking account number. I do not have anything against charities but I do think that my mother is a very easy target for a phone scam, and I want to protect her.

Here is what I did.
- We had a talk :) about calls from strangers.
- I put a block with her phone company on third party billing.
- I registered her number on the do not call list.

Please tell me if there is anything else that I could do.

Caller ID is a must.
Some TelCo's also offer a call screening service, this plays a message to the caller and requires them to say their name or press a number to be allowed to have their phone ring on your mothers end. If they are a robo-dialer or such, the call will not go through. This can also be set to auto-block Unknown or Blocked CID calls.
Get her an answering machine, have her screen calls before picking up.
Make sure your mother knows and understand some basic scam types, one of the most common for elder victims is the "This is your grandson, I'm in jail... wire some money to Mexico for bail" calls.

If she has a computer and free time, let her browse here :)

Anna, your proactivity in this matter is commendable. I second suggestions from DaFox and now submit ideas which have worked for myself and my own "old folks".

An ideal Caller ID unit is one which is convenient to read within the first three rings of an inbound call. My Mom, a vigilant call screener, got herself a free standing CID unit with a Texas-sized display, and placed it where it could be glanced at from her fave reclining chair. I keep mine right at my desk and have the PhoneTray software send a visual overlay to my PC display besides. Some people with a bundled TV/telco service like to pipe CID overlay to the TV. At one time I saw gadget catalogs offer a CID unit which purported to project a character display on a wall or ceiling. I'm too suspicious to try one.

The main thing is to match the gadget with the user's own habits. I'm having a tougher time finding a strategy for my Dad, who is partly deaf and is usually nowhere near a phone or CID display. He's very prone to answering first and questioning later, like he was free to do fifty years ago, and is very slowly adopting the concept of allowing a phone recorder to answer for him.

Some people rely on CID displays embedded in the handset of newer phones, but I think this may defeat the purpose of screening, since you're halfway to answering just by handling the phone. The extension of warning time, as it were, becomes more of an issue as people age and take longer to reach a stationary phone.

It needs mentioning that Caller ID is not a tool that fits all problems. The trashiest callers hide behind "private" and "unknown" tags and may not ever be identified until a live response is made. Adding to the problem, legitimate callers on mobile phones and those using a block service can have the same dud CID entries. What's more, transmission of CID can be corrupted or simply misread as calls pass through exchanges to reach their targets. It's often an "unreliable informant".


As for placing a sort of gate sentry, the telco fees over time may exceed the cost of hardware you could find to do the same job. There was a device once made by the defunct Spectrum Research called "The Screen Machine" which essentially was a challenge-response system. Callers were greeted with a message recorded by the user (the canned one being fairly clumsy) and they had to press a code to cause the connected phone to ring. It also sent back a SIT-like chime, much like the old TeleZapper, to further frustrate autodialers. This thing saved my sanity years ago.

I haven't used it, however, since late 2009 when sales robocalls were outlawed. It's dicey to use an all-or-nothing challenge now, since mobile phone proliferation has given rise to more automated audio messages which are pretty innocent, such as the CodeRED system for local emergency alerts.

A host of successor gadgets and integrated phones are out now which purport to maintain a personal block list of some number of callers. This is more of a reactive approach, and the block lists need continual pruning as storage is exceeded by junky callers who actively try to overwhelm such measures. For this kind of white- and blacklisting the aforementioned PhoneTray does a super job for landlines and is only limited by one's hard drive ..... IF you can spare a PC to run the thing all day, and you take the time to update your settings for each inbound phone number. The average octogenarian is simply not going to make that kind of granular effort to filter calls.


Which brings me back to the main part of this problem, which no technology is going to solve. The most tender place to open a security breach is in that fleshy computer installed between the ears. Your little Stranger Danger chat with Mom was the most important thing you could have done. You will find, as I have with older relatives and parents of my friends, that persons "of a certain age" need to be taught that lesson, and retaught, and retested, and retaught, and scolded, and aided, and retaught some more, until they learn to associate a mild paranoia with every ring of their phones.  

My Dad with the autonomic answering response has a well-tuned horse hockey detector, so I'm not worried about anything but his annoyance. Your Mom might be a different story. Ask her if she would give away copies of her house keys to every person she meets. Ask if she would print a thousand little wallet cards with her bank account and Social Security numbers and distribute them every time she goes shopping or attends a party. Then ask how many times she's given up personal data, even seemingly harmless bits, to absolute strangers from any place on earth whom she has never seen.

She may need a trip through Charity Navigator, the endless reports of "Rachel" claiming to reprice her credit, cautions against "surveyors" with a hidden commercial purpose, and all the rest of what's said of the "Trust Me" callers. The harder part is getting a soft target to "raise shields", suppress emotional response, and lend unfamiliar callers an analytical ear.

Beggar calls are a pet peeve of mine, since the vast majority come from commercial fundraisers which pocket most of the earnings, and the "charity" clients themselves are often closet cash cows which do precious little to help anyone. My own mother must have handed over thousands to these can shakers without really vetting them, and her reward had been a plague of daily calls and mail from dubious "affiliates" and sucker list buyers for years.

Right now I'm training my Dad to take notes and recall details when he's caught by suspect callers. When he discusses them I ask every time if he got a business name, purpose for calling, return number ... all the things you need to document a junky call properly. I stress that he needs to do this if we're going to kill the pests for good. He could go on blocking or ignoring, but clamping palms over ears does not silence the source of the noise.

By this I am suggesting you will have to monitor your Mom's phone traffic and her responses to some extent, and meanwhile become educated on various state and federal laws which restrict a commercial caller's phone behavior. You will both need to become friendly with Certified Mail and learn to never rely on verbal demands to cease the calls. Depending on the caller category and your mother's circumstances, she may have rights denied and be owed payouts in a courtroom.


Below are some research launching pads:

Various laws in brief from the FCC
http://www.fcc.gov/guides/unwanted-telephone-marketing-calls

Electronic Privacy Information Center on telemarketing
http://epic.org/privacy/telemarketing/

Telemarketing Sales Rule
http://business.ftc.gov/documents/bus27-complying-telemarketing-sales-rule

National Do Not Call Registry
http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/alerts/alt107.shtm

Telephone Consumer Protection Act
http://www.the-dma.org/guidelines/tcpa.shtml

Fair Debt Collection Practices Act
http://www.ftc.gov/os/statutes/fdcpajump.shtm

Notes from a legendary consumer litigant
http://www.dianamey.com/anti-telemarketing-guide/

Thank you DaFox and Resident47. You gave me a few more ideas. She does have Caller ID it's just that she is "very prone to answering first and questioning later". It's tough for her to adjust to the new rules.

Within two weeks of moving to a new condo, my mother's number was sold (by Verizon) to a number of scam artists, including fraudsters from Canada, Jamaica, and Israel, all telling her she had won the lottery and she needed to send in the tax payment for her winnings. I tried teaching her about not answering, etc., but they kept calling. I tried a number of phone screen devices that didn't work either.

Finally, we changed her number to a new one that is unpublished and unlisted. I also set up an Asterisk PBX server at her house to get better blacklist & logging control. So far it's worked, but setting up your own PBX isn't easy, even with freeware.

Just to clarify, Verizon does not sell or give user's contact info or phone number to illegal parties. Like all cell providers, they have blocks of numbers to provide to their customers. It is extremely easy for scammers/spammers to learn the ranges of those blocks and simple call the numbers in sequence.
For example, if "Provider A" has phone number block from 555-555-0000 to 555-555-9999, then a bad guy would just have to call those 9999 numbers and would 99% of the time get a "Provider A" customer.
The only selling of phone numbers to illegal operations is done by other illegal operations.

Set the answering machine to answer on 2 rings.  That way it will likely pick up before the older person can get to it.  Record the message "waaaaaaiiiiiiiit...."  (Seinfield joke)  Just try to let everyone know to leave a message so she has time to get to the phone, that will weed out a lot of the junk.

I'd like to add to all the excellent advice above.  Create a family password or pass phrase.  Emphasize to family members of all ages how important it is to remember and guard the password.  When Grandma gets a call regarding sending money to the stranded or jailed family member, have her ask for the pass word or phrase.  Since the scammers will not be inside Gram's/Gramp's home, the word or phrase can be written down and taped next to the phone.

Anna,
I have been fighting this losing battle for a couple years now.  As it is getting late, and I am falling asleep as I type, I hope this forum will still be up tomorrow for my two cents.  It gets worse, much worse if dementia is an issue!

In March, the AARP began sending out post cards to seniors about scams by mail. The AARP should also be warning seniors about scams by phone, FAX, and even e-mail.

Your best defense against spam/scam/phishing attacks is to educate yourself (as you are doing here at 800notes), your family and others about these nasty people.

As I volunteer with seniors, I hear a lot about bogus phone calls. Keep an eye on your older relatives, neighbors, and friends. Repeatedly remind them that the world is not the trust-worthy place they may have grown up in decades ago.

We know who the enemy is, and it is up to us to fight "it" without ceasing.

Resident47, the msg to which I am replying is nearly 2.5 years old.  Nevertheless, please tell me you still have your Screen Machine, it is in working order, & you are willing to sell it.  I'll give you my firstborn child or cash thru the mail, or both, or whatever your heart's desire.  Er, within my budget.

I am an obligate day sleeper insomniac.  As you can imagine, I have no use for autodialers, robodialers or any other commercial or self-important "community service" [spit!] phone calls.  I divulge my number to nobody (the four individuals on the face of this earth who have my wake-up-Nytrydr landline number are sworn to secrecy upon pain of death); I pay for unlisted-nonpublished with the phone company also forbidden from calling (yes, you have to specify this to the morons); my current number is perfect because it had never been assigned before (due to area code expansion); and of course learned long ago never to trust promises of "but we'll only call for something important" however...

None of that saves me from automated dialers.

A few years ago when my never-before-assigned number was still fresh and shiny, I began getting survey calls regarding  government participation in H1N1 flu vaccinations.  They were really pushy.  Googling revealed that it indeed was the CDC, or a company copntracted to conduct the survey for them.  Nevertheless, they did not call back once I demanded to be added to their DNC list.  Evidently a computer spit out a list of numbers that included mine.  As dutiful federal agents with an item to check off their list, they had insisted upon my cooperation, but never called back once I made the DNC demand.

So anyway, that's a bit of info about me.  I see you're still around the site & am serious about buying your Screen Machine if you are willing/able to sell.  Thanks for reading.

Nytrydr

I think this is a great idea! I'm having the same worries about my grandmother (who is 84) and still living alone. She's already having issues with fear caused by increasing memory issues and slight dementia, so I'm reticent to point out to her that the phone is scary and that scammers call constantly. I don't want to exacerbate that fear, which is becoming a real problem. I think it is time to have that talk though, and re-set her voice mail to pick up after two rings. Thanks everyone!

You might want to review the serious caveats I made about that gadget half a year later. The whole thread is a good read, really. While your offer is the most entertaining I've had all month, I'm a firm believer in facilitating informed decisions.

Call Blocking Devices
https://800notes.com/forum/ta-5d4e343675a5629 ... 485219751394797

I think you got the same NORC call center I've heard from, the same time each year. We'll just say that my experience of their call campaigns has not been as described by the CDC, which I suspect relies on a very flawed hit list of respondents.

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nis/nis_faq.htm

Hey, thanks for your prompt reply!

With appreciation for your sincerity regarding the Screen Machine & other devices, I must divulge that I have no children to inflict on you in exchange for your machine, so relax, all's well.  :o)  However, I myself and the dubious technological features of my home - we're dinosaurs.  I could have made what's been described as the Screen Machine's shotgun-toting hillbilly outgoing message voice, except I would follow up the shotgun blast by siccing the dogs on any survivors.  I'd spit a wad of Beechnut in their eyes afterwards, too, except one thing my Mama tole me wuz that ladies ought not to use tobaccy.

Getting back to the subject, my research into current Call Blocking devices has resulted in disappointment.  Every single one of those devices requires:
1. allowing the @#$&*@ phone to ring the house at least once; or
2. subscribing to pay extra fees to the phone company for additional services that only halfway work (I tried CID once) and return nowhere near the value for which you pay; and/or
3. um, a working computer or other comm device, which must always be left on/connected to the Internet, which BTW means subscribing to an ISP and incurring yet another monthly bill which I simply cannot afford.
4. as technology evolves, it is indeed an arms race which left me behind years ago.  I can't conceive these days of the frivolity of having the disposable income that inspires camping outside a store so as to acquire bragging rights for buying the newest release of a gadget on its first day out.

Having lost what was once a very good job, I have held onto my house while eking out a living on less than a third of what I earned back when I bought the place.  I just want the hardware to manage my own gear while keeping out intruders.

See, the problem with proliferating telecommunications devices has resulted in the expectation that one must be available to others at all times.  It's an attitude that's grown by leaps and bounds.  In this environment, instant results are expected; nay, demanded.

I'm continually shocked at the insistance that we be able to receive automated Amber Alerts, Evac Notices, Weather Alerts and any other thing tacked on by TPTB.  Holy crap, at the boyfriend's house he had the TV volume down low when all of a sudden The Voice of Gawd issued an Amber Alert from the speakers.  The only thing for it was to power off the TV.  Once the voice had silenced & our ears ceased ringing, boyfriend explained that all area entities could override your individual settings on your own TV for that sort of mess.  Please realise that the federal government continues to press for the same power over all devices plus the Internet, so there will be no end to the intrusiveness of strangers into your equipment and your life.

Well, screw them.  I'm sleeping.  Leave me alone.

Nobody who demands it has my home number.  Not DMV or voter registration, nor ticket writing cops (it's happened), nor doctor/ dentist/ school/ employer/ mechanics/ neighbors/ family members other than parents/ friends & acquaintances other than boyfriend/ utilities/ lawyers/ food delivery services/ retail businesses & other data aggregaters/ any other turd who insists on his worth to impose upon my rest.  After decades of nightshifting, I'm living on the principles of the woman whose husband beat her ONCE.

What I mean is that the first time it happens, he didn't *mean* to hurt her.  He's all apologies & promises that, "It'll never happen again, honest."  But you know what?  If she doesn't leave him right then, or give him his own beating to regret, who's the idiot for being conveniently handy the next time he turns on her to vent his rage?  Who neglected her primary duty to ensure her own safety?  (For the sake of politically correct handwringers, I have backed someone else's wife-beating husband against my house, and yes I am a woman.  Albeit a mean one.)

To reiterate, I have insomnia.  This means often not falling asleep no matter how tired or sleep deprived, or once awakened, unable to return to sleep.  I have a passionate and well-earned hate for unwanted callers whether by phone or at the door.  In two decades of primarily night shift work, and most of that 3rd shift, I've learned hard lessons:  You can't trust people who say they'll only call if it's important, because of course their judgments are made in their own best interests.  You can't trust promises to only call at such-and-such a time before you usually go to bed.  And if you work swing shifts or swap shifts to accomodate coworkers, that whole theory is blown out of the water.  You can't entrust your contact info even to people who seem decently courteous of your schedule, because they will still divulge your number to others who don't care.  To third parties especially, instruction to not call after noon "because she's sleeping" translates into the best time to call because they'll be sure to locate their target as needed, at *their* convenience.  Those people, if they get anything at all, get the number of my disposable, prepaid cell.  Ringer easily silenced, "Ya'll kin leave a message, y'hear?"  Look, people will abuse your good graces if you let them!

Preventing unwanted wakings altogether is a far, far better thing than performing damage control *grumble, grumble* after someone has blundered into... intruding upon my sleep.  And some persons... not gonna name any names... [whispering] Aunt Bettie [/whispering]... don't seem to get the idea unless I call them back at MY convenience.  But see the problems I can avoid if I simply deny them the power to do this?

My landline serves me - and only me - because that's how I want it.  Lucky to still have both parents - they can judge what rates as an emergency.  The boyfriend - we provide each others' backup to alarms.  He calls me at night, and I get him up in the morning.  And my immediate boss, the longsuffering fellow who works the same shift & must put up with me, has my number on his personal cell in case of alarm failure (fan drowning it out) or boyfriend forgets (seldom but possible).  That poor guy understands entirely what this shift is all about.  These are the only four poeple whom I've given the power to override my need for rest.  Nobody else.

As for the CDC, yeah, I think their surveys are seriously skewed.  If by nothing else, by the quality of the respondents to compelled cooperation.

Thanks for the opportunity to vent, but my offer is genuine.

Nyt

Wow that was some screed, eh?

WRT the cellphone, I figured I was the last person on earth to not have one.  It was my concession to people I actually like to be able to make non-emergency contact at any time.  They can leave a msg without trying & failing to memorize my disruptive work schedule.  Should I forget to silence the ringer, well, that's on me.  They'll get their callback, tho it may have to wait til the weekend.

Back several landline numbers ago, when a wider circle of friends had it, I would get these hangup calls.  Phone would ring once or twice with dialtone by the time I answered, or the caller would hang up soon as I gritted out a hello.  Later these same friends would own up to being the caller who did that.  They could not comprehend that one jingle would bring me from deep, blissful sleep to awake & peed off about it.  They thought their hangup calls were a *favor* to me.

At least, it spared their having to listen to me crab about it, LOL.