Phone rings, ONCE AGAIN its a recorded message telling me for the twenty fifth time today that I need to get my webpage optimized and placed on google's front page listings. My call blockers do a fair enough job of knocking out most of these incessant calls but today, this one got through.
"If you're the owner, press one now..." so I did.
I was transferred to a pleasant young lady who wanted to verify my business name, phone number, address and all the standard preliminaries. She went on a bit about how my page was sorely lacking and would definitely benefit from their services. She had neither asked me for my webpage address or even got the business name I provided correctly but why should that stop her?
While she was typing and doing whatever it is she was processing, I asked her for the name of her company and website address. She told me to open a browser and simply type “The Best Local SEO Company” in precisely that way. “Yes” I said, but what is the web address? She responded by saying that if I type in exactly that phrase I will find it easily. Well, I couldn't find it and referenced a second company that clearly thought they too were the best but she corrected me and told me to type the phrase the way she said with no http at the beginning and to space each word. We went around and around for a few minutes but she never told me the actual name of the company. By doing a variation of the phrase, I was able to come up with “Local Lighthouse” as in
http://www.locallighthouse.com/When I asked “are you local lighthouse?” she responded YES! Exactly! Then why didn’t you just tell me that in the first place? “We want our customers to KNOW they are dealing with the very best!” she said. Oh, was my response. How can your customers know that and find you if you won’t even give a straight answer as to what the name of your website is? I asked. “You found it, right?” she said in a very non-confrontational tone. I left that argument there.
We continued with the contract process, she asking for an email address, which I provided. We chatted a bit and I asked where they were located. Orange county, CA she said and continued with her sales pitch. She made it sound like it was more a completed deal than a negotiation. She rattled off a list of the “services” locallighthouse would be offering; web design, search engine indexing, social media links and a very strange service – Tax and Legal networking to name a few. “You’ll have access to a lawyer anytime you need one!” she stated. “For what reason?” I asked. “You know, just for anything you may want.” she responded. I was still a little fuzzy about that part but she moved on to all the other wonderful features that awaited me – All for an initial charge of $199 for one month and then a continuous charge of $99 a month thereafter.
After a few more minutes, the sales pitch was complete. “So! Will you be paying by credit card today?” the eager voice asked. Well I really can’t say. There’s so much to take in. I think it would be best if you draw up the contract, email it and then invoice me in the event I decide to take the deal. She was a little discouraged but agreed and emailed the contract.
They used a service called Docusign, an all-electronic document processing service to handle the paperwork. I could see the contract but only in a very dull gray/brown overlay. It was constantly prompting me to agree - that by clicking yes, my electronic signature would be legal and binding from this point further. It was also the only way to allegedly see the document properly. It did offer a decline button but that voided any chance of the contract being valid and when I did indeed click on it, I was informed immediately that the contract had been cancelled. It then prompted me to provide an explanation to locallighthouse as to the reason why the contract was declined.
She obviously had no idea I declined, asked when I’d be finishing the contract and I informed her the “boss” will need to make the final decision on that. “Wait!” she said now disheartened. “You mean you’re not the boss?” “I thought you said you were.” “Sorry, I’m just the guy who sweeps up around here, you’ll have to wait for his approval.” I could absolutely sense a wave of disappointment and I will say, (for just a minute or two), I felt bad about leading her astray. However, she called me! She works for this organization and knows full well what the consequences of making calls like this may bring. We parted with her half-hearted comment that she’d be calling the boss later that day – a call which never did come. Hopefully, this may stem (at least temporarily) the huge amount of endless calls from this organization that my office receives daily.
Through the magic of technology, I was able to salvage the potential contract and offer it for all to see.
Click or paste:
http://s24.postimg.org/q2mztdjhh/LD0001.pngSome browsers will allow you to click on the document to see it much closer.
A few of you regulars may now see my actual name, company and address! ;-)
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