Goaccredited.com Meets the Bunker's

My second and final bit of whimsey for a bit since snow days are over and life returns to a more normal keel.

goaccredited.com called me this afternoon from 323-443-3451 and later from 631-247-0950

Mr. "Bronze" was a quick talker but unpolished with his answers.

Me: Hello?
Bronze: Yes? Who is this?
Me: I'm sorry, you called me, what can I do for you?

"Yes sir", this is Tyler Bronze and I'm calling form to offer you loan and options based on your receivables. May I ask with whom I'm speaking? Certainly, this is Archie. "Hello Archie", well let me ask you, would you say you bring in more than $5000 a month? Yes, I replied. And what is the average monthly take? I thought about it for a moment and came up with a number. $35,000 would be close to accurate. Good! he said that averages somewhere near $420,000. Does that sound right? he asked. Yes, that seems reasonable and on par with the books. I said.

From there he launched into a sales pitch that you could tell was recited over and over every day. It was speedy and if you didn't listen carefully, you'd miss something important. I can't repeat it verbatim here due to how rapidly it was delivered but the highlights were; I'd get cash advances which are essentially purchases for future credit card receivables. With that equity, I'd receive an unsecured cash advance on prospective future transactions.

I was promised at least 120% of my total monthly credit volume "based on the revenue my business brings in" he said.

"May I ask you full name?" he said.
"Sure, its Archie. Archie Bunker".  I thought I was toast at this point but NO! the conversation continued. He didn't know!

I'd like to send you a fax or email with the application. At this point everything sounds good. Can you go ahead and give me an email address? he asked. Sure, I said and dutifully provided one. There was a little light banter, I learned they had locations in Melville and Long Island City, NY. (Dang! and me NOT using the last name Melville this time!). The application quickly arrived and I promptly filled it out and sent it back.

I didn't even try to be stealthy on this one. I want to see just how far I get being head of household for America's favorite bigot. If this somehow does manage to fly, I'll enjoy the fallout!

The conversation was short and sweet. Was over and done in a New York minute and in the hurley burley of the east coast demand for immediate satisfaction, I submitted the appropriate paperwork in response to his email request. There is a deliberate omission of requested bank statements which can easily be forthcoming. Those would only be manufactured if I make it through the first round but I'm anticipating either a snippy rejoinder to my application or nothing at all. Time will tell.

For all to see --- my email and application from goaccredited.com

Someone said my links were flagged earlier. Chrome put out an update today with a new feature pretty much marking any  direct link as suspect. I would never provide infected links on this site but if you feel thats untrue or your scanner says they're no good, C'est la vie.

http://s9.postimg.org/se7zckhpr/goaccredited_blurb.jpg
http://s13.postimg.org/7few58ylj/goaccredited_2_page_001.jpg

Yes, we are scam-called all the time from maggots like these. Why are you taking the time out of your day, and ours since you are posting it here, to talk to these scum bags? Is this some type of lesson that we should follow? Is it worth our time to come back here and read more about the ongoing details?

You simply could have ignored the post.

If they call again ask if they are walking distance from Newsday.

Hi Pointy!

I'm sorry, I didn't realize I needed to get your approval or have to adopt your way of thinking before posting my folly.

Let have a good look at your comment shall we?

"Yes, we are scam-called all the time from maggots like these."  Maggots are result of flies and other vermin depositing eggs into decaying flesh or voided material. Since these are your own words, it could be excepted as a plausible explanation that you, personally fall into the category of repository for one of these aforementioned vessles.

"Why are you taking the time out of your day, and ours"  What I do with my time is my business. I fail to see, nor do you provide enough evidence in this missive that I definitively am the cause for any missing minutes or hours pilfered from your day. Fear not, if I am indeed guilty of this aberration, the miniscule amount of time lost on my account will still leave you more than enough time to catch up on Oprah.

" Is this some type of lesson that we should follow?"  We all have lessons to follow. A lesson you would benefit from is a course in concise conjecture and maybe philately as well.

" Is it worth our time to come back here and read more about the ongoing details?" 10 to 1 odds you'll be back with some pithy remark but that of course will waste more of your precious time.

Anything else you need to know, simply ask!

I think it was a good bait.
Next time answer as Fred G Sanford...

In your best raspy voice... and the "G" stands for...

Fred it is next time but of course Awnt Esther will be right there too!

Next time answer as Basil Fawlty.

Aw Herman, thank you for the nice giggle today. I'll be back to read your follow-up.   And, we appreciate your tying up the maggot's phone line so someone like Pointy doesn't get ripped off.

Here is the whois for these vermin,

Domain Name: GOACCREDITED.COM
Registry Domain ID: 1678257478_DOMAIN_COM-VRSN
Registrar WHOIS Server: whois.godaddy.com
Registrar URL: http://www.godaddy.com
Update Date: 2014-09-03T04:24:58Z
Creation Date: 2011-09-21T18:21:48Z
Registrar Registration Expiration Date: 2015-09-21T18:21:48Z
Registrar: GoDaddy.com, LLC
Registrar IANA ID: 146
Registrar Abuse Contact Email: abuse@godaddy.com
Registrar Abuse Contact Phone: +1.480-624-2505
Domain Status: clientTransferProhibited http://www.icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited
Domain Status: clientUpdateProhibited http://www.icann.org/epp#clientUpdateProhibited
Domain Status: clientRenewProhibited http://www.icann.org/epp#clientRenewProhibited
Domain Status: clientDeleteProhibited http://www.icann.org/epp#clientDeleteProhibited
Registry Registrant ID: 
Registrant Name: Dave Abraham
Registrant Organization: 
Registrant Street: 35 pine lawn rd
Registrant City: melleville
Registrant State/Province: New York
Registrant Postal Code: 11747
Registrant Country: United States
Registrant Phone: +0.6312470950
Registrant Phone Ext:
Registrant Fax: 
Registrant Fax Ext:
Registrant Email: dave@springbasemedia.com
Registry Admin ID: 
Admin Name: Dave Abraham
Admin Organization: 
Admin Street: 35 pine lawn rd
Admin City: melleville
Admin State/Province: New York
Admin Postal Code: 11747
Admin Country: United States
Admin Phone: +0.6312470950
Admin Phone Ext:
Admin Fax: 
Admin Fax Ext:
Admin Email: dave@springbasemedia.com
Registry Tech ID: 
Tech Name: Dave Abraham
Tech Organization: 
Tech Street: 35 pine lawn rd
Tech City: melleville
Tech State/Province: New York
Tech Postal Code: 11747
Tech Country: United States
Tech Phone: +0.6312470950
Tech Phone Ext:
Tech Fax: 
Tech Fax Ext:
Tech Email: dave@springbasemedia.com
Name Server: NS.WEBAIR.NET
Name Server: NS2.WEBAIR.NET
DNSSEC: unsigned
URL of the ICANN WHOIS Data Problem Reporting System: http://wdprs.internic.net/
Last update of WHOIS database: 2015-2-27T15:00:00Z

For more information on Whois status codes, please visit https://www.icann.org/resources/pages/epp-status-codes-2014-06-16-en

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while believed by the company to be reliable, is provided "as is"
with no guarantee or warranties regarding its accuracy. This
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Another gem Herman. Again, first one I read on 800 notes today & another one that did not fail to entertain. Make SURE you put your Aunt Maude Findlay on the phone next time. Or your son-in-law Mike.

LOL -- Love those old-fashioned phone numbers ("So THAT's what that alphabet on our keypad is for!")  And applying them to modern cell phones (no area code need apply) is especially delicious.

GOOD ONE HERMAN!!! If what's the point doesn't get the point, he's beyond help. I read the copy of the "application" they sent you and just for extra fun, I looked up the phone number on the application and it's listed to a Long Island New York U-Haul company. I guess the only thing they haul is the money out of your bank account if you give them information.

Again good job!

Hi all, thanks for the kind words and hope you had a laugh. As of 11:18a today, nothing yet on Archie's application has been decided apparently. I will absolutely follow-up with any correspondence I receive from these fools but for the moment, nothing to report.

Blimey! Have you been spying on avatars again?   :-)